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What I Fear Most

What I fear most
is a lack of collaboration
mind, body,
spirit, if it exists,
bowing out at different times

Dad did it right
sang to me
the day before he died
mind still clear
walked and talked
and only lay down
to give us a heads up
it was time to say
so long

I fear being unable to
walk or talk
when my mind is sharp
unable to say,
I love you
Take care of each other
Feed the dog
Think I’ll die now

Or worse
fogged forgetfulness
to grieve my missing mind
not knowing if the person who says
“I love you, Mom,” is really my child
or an imposter
To strike out in anger and frustration
at visitors who don’t want to be there
or the caregiver who changes my diaper

I fear wanting to die and being kept alive
I fear lingering until friends and family
hate themselves for contemplating murder
I fear there will be no compassionate partner
to pull the plug

What I fear most
is a lack of collaboration.

 

First published in Chachalaca Review

 

He Called Them Animals

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Black dog
wiggles her feet in the air
snuggles her nose
against my naked arm
soft animal with kind brown eyes

Halloween hued butterflies
whirl and rise
animals whose beauty
enchants my eyes

His obscene mouth
calls humans animals
belittles both
provides permission
for the mean kick
permission to regard

person as pest

alien

other

black

brown

immigrant

woman

trans

Palestinian

Jew

 

me

you

 

Published in San Diego Poetry Annual 2018-19

 

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5/16/19 Haiku

We wait for the rain

Sit on the edge of the now

Shoes sit by the door

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4/21/19 (Easter) Bombings in Sri Lanka

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Cold and blustery
Across world, death in churches
Our Mother Earth grieves

Yet in this morning
The hummer sips her nectar
Flowers bloom their hope

Those Awful Pink Dresses in the 50s (Am I Blue?)

(Image: Louisiana Zombie Afternoon, by Jenn Zed (UK) 2018)

Pistol packin’ mama
smoking’ dad
dressed you in pink taffeta
confined
behind
glass
trite knickknack
in their curio cabinet
don’t be like us
be pure, be pink, be perfect

When life’s earthquake
breaks you apart
but all you knew
becomes the glue
who ya gonna emulate,
learn to hate?
It’s too late
fated
to be
what they created
don’t be upset, statuette
Am I blue?
you’d be, too.

Accepted and posted On Line by Ekphrastic Review

#OctPoWriMo 2018 Day 31–Endless?

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My altar: Eclectic is my middle name. Karma? Heaven? Nothing? Remembrance for a short time?

 

Endless?

All that stands beneath the sky

will someday wither, fade, and die

so let us hold this life so dear

and seek adventure without fear

love and laugh and banish sorrow

it all will be a dream tomorrow

Although I know they’ll come an end

to your life, and mine, my friend

perhaps a bit of my bad rhyme

will be remembered over time

or cause a thought to rise again

from some young wiser poet’s pen

Prompt: Endless

#OctPoWriMo 2018 Day 30–Dancing on the Moon

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Dancing on the Moon

Do you see me
dancing on the moon?
That slight young girl
long hair whirling
lithe body, leaping, turning
full of mysterious magic
for a brief moment
sure of herself in the world?

See the deep blue night
that empty beach
iridescent waves?

She sings Mr. Tambourine Man
reaches to touch the diamond sky
bare feet
circus sand
life’s swirling ship
not yet tested by storms

Do you see me?

Not these wrinkled
knobby hands, aching bones
Not the crone of the broken mirror
of the unsure step

Do you see me
Dancing on the moon?

 

Prompt: Dancing on the Moon

#OctPoWriMo 2018 Day 29–Gray Day

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What Rhymes with Apathy?

I’ll write a poem, maybe 3

when I can shed this damned ennui

Perhaps it’s cuz the day is hazy

More likely though it’s cuz I’m lazy

I hope it’s only this 1 day

and tomorrow it will go away

 

Prompt: Numbers.  Did I get some numbers into it?  Ok.  Mission marginally accomplished.

#OctPoWriMo 2018 Day 28–Broken

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Broken

In those moments it was what I wanted

pottery cup held warm

fragrant coffee, soft in my mouth

its scent shared the garden

with orange blossoms, lavender

That blue cup fit my crooked hand

as if we had been together

for eternity,

now of birdsong

comfort in the cool morning,

warm hand

warm cup, warm mouth

Then came another morning

sweet grandchild

curious about the scent, the cup

carelessly left by the door when

I welcomed him

His tiny hand grasped but did not fit

and when grandma’s cup slipped

he cried over the wet blue shards

or perhaps the shock of the breaking

A grandmother’s fear first

grandson unharmed

I kept sadness hidden

After he left, I carried the pieces

to my garden, placed them

among well-traveled rocks and shells

near Monarch Milkweed

sage, sand

In this moment I hold a new cup

my fingers fit a different way

morning peace prevails

And as I contemplate the shards of

my once perfect world

my heart fills with love

for a tiny grandchild

a broken cup

another beginning

 

Prompt: Split in two (Hence, broken) Prompt from Workshop: In that Moment it was what I want…

Form:  Anglo-Saxon riddle (not used)

Written in a workshop by Jim Moreno at San Diego Writers INK

#OctPoWriMo 2018 Day 27–Tibetan Mountain Pass

 

Tibetan Mountain Pass

Tibetan pass, prayer flags

blue, white, red, green, yellow

sky, air, fire, water, earth

Vibrant, then faded

as color carries hope

to sun-silvered peaks

Snap and swell

Defy the oppressive giant

Answer only to sky stream

Color’s breath

compassionate wishes

in the wind

 

Prompt: What Color is it?

Thought:  Faded prayer flags are auspicious. Colors fade as good wishes are carried to all.  They give me hope for this tiny country held captive by China